Musings of Today, Yesterday, and Tomorrow

There is so much that is assumed but never said. Presumed and not articulated. Which in the end is left to one's own interpretation. Lesson no 1 in Communications 101, say out loud what you want people to know.

That was my blunder for last week, and that wasn't the first time either. I still make that same mistake, with the same person, even after 18 years. The same for you too. Stubborn people tend to do it more often than others. And we, two of the most stubborn people ever born, are more prone to do so.

Funny how we are so alike despite the North Pole to South Pole differences that people say we project. At the core we are so much alike. Stubborn, egoistic. We understand each other too well, and that is what what we use to hurt one another more often than we care to admit. Perhaps that is what makes you so endearing. Perhaps I am narcissistic in that sense. That's a thought...

Perhaps too, it is my natural instinct to protect myself from the hurt when you are gone. Perhaps it is not even that, it is just that I miss you very much, and I want you around. With all the other commitments ("I have 1000 things to do and 10 days to do them") I lost my priority in your list. After all, you are the ever practical man. I think I should start singing Whitney's Saving All My Love For You now...

Ah well, today brought sunshine, even though I wanted to remain in my gloom, being the cancerian that I am. Like what I have been doing for the past 3 days. You have a way of robbing me of the gloom and switching on the sun in my life. Even with me resisting. You know me too well to wait upon my moodiness to lift.

Funny too that when I think about it, we haven't fought for a long while. It must have been 5 years. Too little time that we have with each other since. I remember the days when we used to fight everyday without fail - those were the days when we were together everyday!

Another month, and you will be gone. Another very short month, considering your travels and travails. Even shorter will be the time you will manage to spend with me... And I don't know what will happen after that. Numb is what I feel right now. No unhappiness, just numb. Not thinking too much. It will hit when you are gone. So you will not see me cry.